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The Long Battle we experienced with DMX

Posted on by serenitisparkles

Addiction is powerful, if you don’t learn to control it and take back your power. It CAN kill you. It has killed so many and yet has no bias. It shows up in any circle, family or friend. It has no preference.

We ALL have vices. Dark moments hidden in the shadows. But what about those who can’t hide in the shadow. Like DMX. What if we were able to see the magic of the person, but the vulnerability of a human?

Isn’t that exactly what we saw with X? Wasn’t this man a magician who couldn’t tame his inner beast? Don’t we all have that beast inside of us?

A vice can be anything. It is something that you will learn to control or in the end it will kill you. It will stay with you, even when you overcome it. It will be the most vivid vision you carry with you.

Drug addiction, specifically, is a vice that is more powerful than most. Yet, some do pull through, but it takes a lifetime of dedication.

And of course, many die at the hands of these drugs. I remember a saying that “People do drugs, drugs don’t do people.”

Don’t they?

Drugs are chemically compounded to form an invisible hold on our spirit. Drugs tie to our memory, our feelings and never let go. As someone who has battled addiction and watched it take my family, I feel now is an important time to look at the beast for what it is.

Our vice can be our death wish.

For DMX, his vice was a constant battle between his greatness and his defeat. It was something we all watched him struggle with on the sidelines. It is an epic story of a King and the lesson from his demise. He was a lesson. He MUST be a lesson. He was one of the most creative, talented speakers of our time. He was open about his fight. In the end he fought so we would hold onto hope. Please, Don’t let your vice be the reason you don’t see tomorrow.

A Smile to Remember, RIP Big Daddy

Posted on by serenitisparkles

Too often we never get the chance to say goodbye.

It all happened so fast. Like a lightning bolt that strikes down a beautiful palm. My best friend called me crying. Kenya got shot. Chills ran through my body and I remember feeling so helpless. I could hear her deep pain. And I understood why. Kenya aka Big Daddy was larger than life. He had a smile that made your heart melt. Kenya was like a teddy bear. He was there to help and never to harm. All I could remember thinking was WHO could be so evil.

My best friend told me he was on life support at a hospital about 20 mins away. She told me that the whole family was there. I dropped everything and went to be with them.

What would come next would stay with me forever.

When I got to the hospital I saw the family crowded by his bed side as my best friend walked out to tell me, he’s gone.

That day ended in pain and tragedy, but what it would bring was a sign of unity never seen before.

In order to tell this story properly, let me give you some background on my experience with my best friend, Kenya and the family that you won’t know if you are just reading this.

About 5 years before this tragic day, I moved to the south from New England. My white skin and love for Hip Hop music would make me an awkward fit at the time for this heavily separated town. When I first entered the high school lunch room it was obvious that most groups were separated by color or ethnicity rather than interests or life experiences.

I felt alone at the time because I related more to the black kids in the school because of Hip Hop culture, but I wasn’t necessarily accepted by them at first. Until I met my best friend, Kenya, and the family. They just truly saw ME. Me and my best friend became inseparable and Kenya’s smile became a reassurance that I was always good where ever I was in town. I was so blessed to have each and everyone of them in my life, especially Kenya. They were the definition of what family stood for. Always together, and I was always welcome.

I had come from a broken home and family that was separated by 1000 miles. My mother, whom I was living with at the time, was suffering from breast cancer, and I just remember feeling the embrace that I needed from all of them. It came right on time.

As the years passed on I saw Kenya grow up from a boy into a man. July 4th was the last day I got to spend with him. I remember there was a cookout at one of the family members houses and Kenya was the reason that July 4th was a hit for all of us. He brought hundreds of dollars worth of fireworks and began the show. We were outside for hours that day, basking in the beauty of the fireworks show that Kenya was putting on as he poured his energy into it. He was a bright light for all of us, and that day, he did his thing. Less than a month later, he was gone.

Hopelessness and sadness filled the family circle, but like always they stuck together. As the years would pass, his brother, sister and cousins would start an event for his birthday in his name. RIP Big Daddy. In the beginning, maybe a couple hundred would show up and celebrate and the police would always try to shut it down. Every year, more and more began to come. Like a fire igniting, it would continue to burn. Whether we realized it or not, Kenya’s energy lived far beyond his death.

This year, thousands would gather in the name of Big Daddy and Ending Gun Violence. The police that used to try and shut it down, would be forced to get behind the cause.

I don’t believe that our energy ever really leaves this earth and I believe that Kenya aka Big Daddy is proof of that.

I will always miss you, but your smile lives in my memory bank to remind me that life is worth smiling about. RIP Big Daddy.

Once they are gone, the world will never be the same

Posted on by serenitisparkles

There are few left on this earth that remember a time when technology didn’t absorb us. Grandparents and great grandparents born in the early 20th century can recall a more simple time. Often they tell stories of games, dinner table conversations, living most days outdoors and having to use their mind for amusement. These are the people the young generation mocks because they can’t properly use a cell phone, or social media. But what they can do, and what they can teach us is more valuable than any other lesson available on earth today. When they leave us, many of their stories, their experiences, and their mannerisms will too. We will become more and more disconnected to human interaction and what that feels like. As the years go on and the elders pass away, there will be no one left to tell us why we should put our phones down. There will be no more phone calls on the other end with people who would rather talk than text.

Handwriting will be a thing of the past as will moments where we gaze into each others eyes while speaking. The social addiction of our phones and devices will have no more barrier to fight through. Because isn’t it our elders that tell us to remember to look each other in the eyes when we speak? Isn’t it our elders that remind us that beautiful days should not be wasted behind a video game console?

The world changed right before their eyes and they couldn’t possibly keep up because what felt good for them was the memories of a cup of milk at the kitchen table with mama. Not a phone, nor a tv, nor a video game could replace what secret to human experience that they hold. Covid-19 has been killing our elders off at a faster rate than anyone could have foreseen. My hope for you today is that you read this post, realize that time is running out, and learn from those who know better than us on how to be human.

Choice and Acceptance; Our Human Right

Posted on by serenitisparkles

Does anyone really know what is best for you? Does anyone understand what is in the depths of your soul? Probably not. Because everyone of us is given a different perspective, drawn from the moment we enter into this existence.

So often we hear of governments, religions groups, our own families telling us what to choose and what is accepted.

Is that their story to tell? What is it about anyone or anything that could possibly give them the right to define which way your life should go?

Think about it. Think hard. When you lay awake at night, in your deepest thoughts, are you thinking about what others want, or do you think about what you want and what YOU feel?

When you think about these desires, are you held back from them because of another person’s opinion? What makes them have so much control over you. Why would you give them authority over the one most sacred human right; Your Choice? Your choice will define your existence. The voice in your head and heart will continue to tell you the way. How could you stop what is for YOU? What type of power in all of human existence should be given to one over another?

Choice should be recognized as our most basic human right.

You do not have to agree with my choices, you do not have to understand the why behind them, but you must accept them. They are mine and should be mine alone to make. If I choose to do something to benefit the feelings of another person, then I must make that choice. If I should choose a path that a religious group doesn’t agree with, it is still my choice for them to accept.

We are not given many freedoms in this world. In fact, at every turn, power, money, and government , chips away at our choice and enforces their own. But when we hold the control to walk in the direction that most fulfills us. WHO should have enough hold over us to take that away. CHOICE IS FOR ME ALONE, ACCEPTANCE IS FOR YOU. The path of my choices will teach me what I am to learn, and no one and nothing should be able to take that away. Live in the custom reality that was made just for you, and don’t allow others to take you from that.

Silence is having blood on your hands…It is time White People

Posted on by serenitisparkles

For my entire life thus far, I have watched as some of the people I cared for most in this world being tormented by a system built to oppress them. Through the years I have seen what the simple color of my skin meant to my experience in this world and more specifically this country. The shame I have, to see others that look like me and that hold the same privilege sit in silence. The pain I’ve felt watching my friends and family members be treated as less than or overlooked despite their clear capabilities. The sickness I feel every time I see the outright mistreatment by law enforcement.

Let me be clear when I say, you may love your neighbor no matter the color of their skin, but if you do not speak truth to power, then you too have blood on your hands. How many times do we have to see the blatant disrespect and disregard for human lives? How many times do we have to watch the difference in being black in America vs white in America to know we must not be silent? I’ve written hundreds of articles, praying they reach someone else that needs to hear these words. I’ve listened to my friends and family of color so that I can be better in the fight against racism.

This is getting to the point that it is NO LONGER acceptable for you to just love thy neighbor, you must also be willing to fight for thy neighbor. Imagine a world where every time you walked out into the public, you had to fear that you would be in harm’s way or treated as less than. Imagine that you were treated this way every single day of your life, not because you deserved it, but because of the pigment of your skin. It may not be you that engages in racism or hate. It may not be you that assists in the breakdown of another human’s rights. But it is because of you and your silence that we have witnessed a rise in racism. It is because of that silence that white supremacists marched on the capital as if they would have no repercussions and not be held accountable for such hate.

I am going to keep writing and keep telling white people what they need to hear. I am going to keep speaking up against the most dangerous type of hate that exists in America. The mentality that you or I are better because of the color of our skin is a fallacy and one we are responsible for deconstructing. If you choose to not speak up against what is happening with racism in America, then you my friend, have blood on your hands. PERIOD.

Everyone should feel the bond of an Animal

Posted on by serenitisparkles

The bond between a human and an animal is one of the purest forms of love.  Even in small doses it’s as magical as it could ever be.  The eyes that gaze upon you with that innocent glare.  The warmth you feel at the touch.  The bond with an animal is one that should be experienced by all.  It is the love and nurture that bonds us together.

This love is kind and protective, a shield in the storm, a companion to the ones who need it most. It is what our love between each other should be. The example of love that we can only hope to reflect. It could be a cat coming thru the door at night, a dog nestling in your lap, the gaze of a horse, the simplest forms of this interaction are what makes the world a better place. It is the pure energy passing from human to animal, animal to human. The transmission of that fuel gives us strength and peace, hope and home.

When an animal becomes a family member, they become apart of you forever. Through time the bond grows and the need for them in your life increases, until one day they’re gone and the live in your memory bank forever. You will miss every part of what they brought into your life but you will be a better person because of them.

Let us learn from the beauty of their energy. Let us bask in the moments we are given. Learn from the love the animals keep.

The Mind is Beyond the Matrix

Posted on by serenitisparkles

Everything that exists in this world can be explained down to the very atoms, however the mind, not the brain, is something that still remains a mystery. The why of consciousness is a search many philosophers have given their life’s work trying to unfold. I am simply a medium that is able to express my consciousness through my writings. When I write, I don’t create an outline or plan of what I will pen down. I write the words that flow through me. I write the topics that don’t leave my conscience. I write because I have to share.

Enlightenment is something that all of us gain in different measures from this lifetime and the many others that we’ve experienced. Like the leaves on the trees that wither away and die, only to be reborn, again and again. Our lifetimes are like seasons of consciousness. The only piece of us that stays with us through them all is our Mind (some like to also refer to as our spirit).

Many of us search to find answers and meanings for the experiences, but the answers don’t exist in the material world. The “inner voice” that speaks to us is where the answers are hidden but many of us haven’t been able to unlock that part of our understanding. The material world is based on laws and systems, the spiritual world is beyond all that we see. It relies on feeling. Not feeling like touch, feeling of our deepest emotions enables us to better understand.

The deeper we can understand the why’s of ourself, the more we can understand the why of consciousness. Accepting that there is something within us proves that there is more to the story. Beyond the matrix, beyond the barriers, beyond the laws, there is consciousness for us to discover. There is a beginning and an end to our lifetimes, but there is one stream of consciousness that flows through all of us. Follow the stream.

We create the box, and then try to fit

Posted on by serenitisparkles

However metaphorical this blog seems, it is actually a very simple concept of what we as humans have become. Once born, we enter the world with no preconceived notion about the world around us except what has been in us for eternity. Our souls are as pure as nature and all its elements. Yet, we as a human race grew into this existence with one defining truth of whom we would become. Our energy flows just like the river. It finds its feeling in the movements of us as living beings. It is taught everything it will become as it develops.

Our human existence has the ability to be in the state, whichever state it chooses, yet we as people decided that we would put restraints on every aspect of our nature. Rules, regulations and laws, though finite in principal are merely a creation of the laws decided on amongst ourselves.

Our natural state as humans is to feed off of the energy of the world around us and every living being it crosses paths with.

So now let’s talk about the box or boxes that were created just as boxes are made. They are structured and definite in nature, and sized in relation to those who create it. They are not meant to be fluid or adjusted as they are a fixed element on earth.

We have created many boxes in every category of human nature. Love, feelings, appearance, speech, and thoughts have all been targeted as elements to fit inside of these set boxes.

The reality is, that what lives in us is much more abstract than that. Every single human on this planet has what is called the human factor, or the ultimate level of consciousness. A piece of every one of us that falls outside of each box. Every human, no matter how much they try and define themselves, find it hard to fit in much of anything. It isn’t we are not “normal”. It is that we were never meant to be.

With the age of social media, so many of us have been more enlightened than ever. We’ve opened our eyes and our understanding to humans across the globe like never before. We have seen into the eyes of someone on the other side of the planet and they are relatable in one way or another.

We were meant to be relatable, and different at the same time. We were made with the uniqueness of our inner self. We are finally finding our voices to break the systematic boxes set before us by the “Rules”. The world is heading toward a new day. The day we finally accept that we all have that factor within us that allows us to bridge the gap and break through the boxes. I can’t wait for a more conscious world and more accepting humans.

How Data becomes just as DANGEROUS to the systematically oppressed.

Posted on by serenitisparkles

Big Data. What exactly is “BIG” about data? Isn’t data…..Data? You complete a story and save it into a publishing program on your hard drive. That is one file, one collective piece of data, written by you and before network connectivity, for your eyes and whom you’d want to share it with. Each word in that essay is a part of one file.

BIG data, takes each word from that essay, each phrase, location of the file, location where it was written, font choices and colors, and now that picture is worth more than 1000 words.

Big data, takes those thousand words and ties them to one million companies. The one million companies uses every part of every piece of information to predict what you will do next. Every piece of that data predicts what and how you move.

But the system, an intelligent system, is flawed. The data system collects your instincts and assists in the analysis of you as a consumer, citizen, and even…convict.

There is a system called PES, implemented by 33 states judicial systems with similar systems operating in others, that is designed to analyze convict behavior by data collected from their arrests and incidences within the legal system. They say this system can help to better assess risk factors amongst those pre-trial individuals to assist the judges on their decisions toward that individual.

In essence, it is a prisoner tracker that simply takes in data sets of each arrest and stores it in the system to be analyzed and given a rating. In thought and ability, it is a system built to collect and analyze the information. But in actuality it too is imperfect and dangerous.

A system like PES can analyze the data, but what happens when the reasons for that data are from human character flaws that can’t be assessed and factored in. What happens when, a city arrests far higher minor infractions and therefore the data is that that city is far more dangerous. What if the arrests happened at a far higher rate for African Americans, than Caucasian individuals in that city because of racist police officers within the department? What if they were higher because the amount of homeless people on the streets was higher for minorities than whites in another town? Yet, all of these arrests would be part of a snapshot of another citizens right analyzed as a hole but with heavy human character flaws that can’t be recorded and analyzed with this data set. Can you see how the system itself would be dangerous to those within the cities and towns that deal with human to human racism at a high rate? How these data sets would skew the entire understanding of a race. Do you understand that today these systems are using prisoner data to decide on the future of a US citizen? When we are no longer human, we can’t see the world through unskewed eyes.

Dreams For Sale

Posted on by serenitisparkles

It was 2002 that I learned the most valuable lesson of my lifetime. Your dreams and passions were for sale. A market was born with the birth of the internet that before never existed on such a large scale. It became a billion dollar business to take what dreams you had for your future and exploit them for the mighty dollar.

Back in 2002, I was merely a college student that was going to school to become a recording engineer. During my time in college I was hired by the legendary Brian McKnight’s brother to help him coordinate talent expos for unsigned talent. Little did I know and what I would soon realize is that this wasn’t what it was thought to be. For the thousands of hopefuls, it was a chance for unsigned artists to get their music heard by “executives” in the music industry for their chance to “make it big”. Each hopeful paid $50 to Fred McKnight for the opportunity to get heard. But only I really knew who was listening. As the talent expo began, Fred McKnight placed me and other college students in the seats that were supposed to be held by Industry executives. Let me be clear in saying, we were nothing at the time. Not one of us had an inside link to the industry, and none of us could help any of these hopefuls get their shot. Yet we sat there and listened as we were instructed. We sat there while hundreds of hopefuls, who paid their fee, walked up to our tables for us to listen to their music.

What a scam, I thought. How could someone use the name of their famous counterpart in a way to get money out of people’s pockets in exchange for such bs? Though this was an in-person view of what dreams for sale means, the internet has abused this market in ways that I never knew existed. Now instead of a Fred McKnight using his name to sell a service that he had no intention of following through with, websites, dj’s, influencers, celebrities, and so many more did the exact same.

Through the years I have witnessed, first hand, dreams being sold and billions of dollars being cashed in. And for what? Never once did I see an actual opportunity that came about to anyone, at least nothing substantial. Instead, I see websites claiming to get music heard “all over the world”. Those websites that display your music all over the world, aren’t necessarily lying. Sure, your music is placed on the internet, all over the internet and throughout the world, but no one is searching for you. I’ve seen DJ’s, Celebrities, and Influencers, use their fame and connections to “get you heard or seen”, all for the mighty dollar, but is that what is really happening? More than likely, these people pad their pockets, all for you to say you might have a chance. Did you ever cash in on that “chance”.

Social media platforms “boost” your posts, but how many of those boosts actually translate into dollar signs in your pocket.

Understanding the game is necessary to surviving it. Being aware of the predatory practices to capitalize off of you is key to avoiding them. Reminding yourself that your passion and your dream is most important to you and there is a market that cashes in on that dream.

May I be the one to tell you that if someone of influence sees that your product is worth an investment, you do not have to pay for that because they will approach you to invest. Million dollar people approach value the same way, with an investment. It can be an investment of time, money, access, and opportunity, but if your product is worth it, YOU will not bear the expense. After all, you’re the creator of your product or service. Don’t let someone sell you a dream that you can accomplish with hard work and by protecting your ownership and perfecting your product or service. Take it from someone who has witnessed time and time again, Dreams are for sale.