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What are we afraid of? Fearing Covid-19

The summer of 2020 has been a challenging one to say the least.  Not because of events within my home or family, but because of the constant reminder that we should fear each other and stay “safe”.

Terminal illness is something I know very well as my father succumbed to death by liver cancer at the age of 49.  Illness is something I know well as I have an 8 year old daughter who gets the flu every season.  Drug addiction and illness is also something that has touched my life in a tragic way when I lost my aunt to her addiction.   Yet, I kept on living.

So I beg to ask the question, what are we afraid of?

Are we more afraid of a virus than we are of complete government oversight and control?  Are we more afraid of a virus than our children growing up without a childhood?  Are we more afraid of a virus than a world of social distancing and separation?  Are we more afraid of a virus than we are of fighting for our freedom?

Yesterday, in the grocery store, I made sure to mask up and go about my regular weekly shopping.  I observed people as they walked by making sure they weren’t “too close” to me.  I observed the discomfort of not being able to see if a person was smiling at me or frowning.

In my home, I have an eight year old little girl who is an only child.  A little girl who once upon a time thought anything was possible, yet now she can’t even enjoy the first day of school.  She watches as the school buses pass by in the neighborhood, not because they are picking her up, but because they are being paid to train on their routes for food drops.

My child, whose father lives in South America, cries for the moment she will see him again.  She asks me almost daily when this will be all over so she can see her dad.  For the first time, the mom who knows it all has to tell her baby, “I don’t know”.

Most people I know that have had Covid-19 (and that number I can count on one hand), are alive and breathing and living.  Those friends of mine that have had the virus are now stigmatized by the rest of the world as having “The Virus”.  Though they are all clear of the virus today, they are still excluded from family moments and gatherings.

When you ask me, What are you afraid of?  My answer is very different than what you may think during this pandemic.

I fear that this is the new normal.  I fear that we have entered a time of no return.  I fear that we will all be forced to vaccinate to live a “normal” life again.  I fear that the laws surrounding this pandemic will last beyond the virus.  I fear that people won’t introduce themselves with a hug anymore.  I fear that the government will use 5-G and technology to invade our homes and our lives in the name of “safety”.  I fear that my daughter won’t have a first day of school because digital learning proved to be more economic for the states.  I fear that she won’t be able to make a “new” friend because the parents are scared she may be infected.  I fear that small talk in the grocery store has ended.  I fear that human interaction has been forever tainted.

We are watching the powerful make decisions for all of us.  We are watching it without having real facts and statistics.  The chains have been applied to all of us, not just US citizens, but humans around the world.

I fear that the chains will not come off in my lifetime.

Starbucks, Dunkin’ Donuts, and the Pandemic

The entire world has been shut down in order to defeat COVID-19 from spreading and killing millions of people.  Governments have closed their borders and ordered people to shelter in place.  The US did too, until it was summertime.

Summertime in the US means beaches, pools, parties, vacations, and fun.  Even with COVID lurking at our doorsteps, killing our loved ones, we can’t help ourselves.   While many countries in the world are still stuck inside, state by state, the US began to open it’s doors.  Some states, like FL and Georgia, jumped into summertime too soon.  Georgia and Florida are among the states that are seeing their highest daily numbers to date.   Yet, still, no shelter in place order.

I reside in Georgia and I can tell you exactly why we are climbing in COVID cases rapidly.  It’s quite simple.

I will break it down by using two of the countries biggest corporations.  Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts.

While out driving to different locations to do estimates, I went in to Starbucks to order my coffee and began by heading to bathroom to wash my hands.  I was reprimanded by someone in the back yelling, “BATHROOMS ARE CLOSED”.

There was literally no one in the building but me, my boyfriend and the employees, but I understood their position and left.  Not because the bathroom was closed, but because of the way the employee yelled at me, assuming I should know the rules of COVID restrictions today.

I headed around the corner to Dunkin Donuts where I proceed to do the same.  As my boyfriend ordered our coffees, I go to the bathroom.  Again, it was only us and the employees.  I used the bathroom, came out, grabbed my coffee and went about my day.  NO REPRIMAND or assumption of what I should know.

So let’s analyze this story and we will see why we can’t seem to contain this pandemic.  Two businesses, located within half a mile of each other, same product, two different rules regarding the pandemic.

How are we, the American people supposed to get a handle of how to stay safe during this pandemic, if our governors and business leaders can’t agree on what to do?

Until we have a universal order, enforced by all states in a uniformed way, COVID will run ramped among us.

Teach them…

2020 has brought clarity to everything around us.  It has exposed our greatest fears and highlighted our greatest love.  It has brought us to our knees with humility.  Through the Pandemic, the Economic Downfall, and Civil unrest, we have been given our most important opportunity.

It is our time to teach the future generations the most vital lessons of today.  We can wait no longer to be conscious of what humanity has the power to do, both for good and evil.  If we do not teach them what these lessons are, there may not be a bright future.

So let’s begin,

Covid-19 came in like a tornado and has wiped over 100,000 Americans from the face of the earth.  It has caused many to lose the people they cherish most in an instant.  The ripple effect of all of those deaths has caused us to understand that everyone’s life can inadvertently cause someone’s death.  We are humbled.  Take care of you, take care of your neighbor, life depends on it.

 

The Economic downfall has caused people to lose their homes, their savings, and their stability.  Like an earthquake, it all started to crack.  The floor beneath us started to fall out.  Work hard and save because you don’t know if tomorrow will be a day the floor is no longer there.

 

And finally,  the Civil unrest.  This is what happens to a nation of people who have been silenced for too long.  Complacency can be the enemy if you allow it to live within you.  Accepting the mistreatment of others can also kill.  Without saying a word, you can take part in allowing a system to harm the people it represents.  More than ever, in 2020, we understand that we have to speak up, our lives depend on it.

 

As we smile around the world through our selfies and group photos, we are missing our sparkle.  We are losing our light as hopelessness grows within all of us.  Teach them that strength and respect for one another can save us.  Teach them to walk back into the light we once knew.  Teach them so that the smiles of the future will never be so grim.  Teach them…

Rayshard Brooks told us in one interview how we can start to change the system

A man’s life was taken by the police this month in Atlanta.  We watched again as the video played out his death.  We witnessed the inhumane treatment of this human life.  Everyone around the world is asking, what can we do?  What if we knew first hand how a victim of police killing felt?  What if we heard it in their own words?

Watch as Rayshard Brooks tells the nation how we can start to change a broken system.  Watch as he defines what rehabilitation looks like.  I, personally, am so grateful we have such words for this very moment in our nation’s history.

 

The C word VS the N word and why they are not the same.

“Cracker” is what I would be referred to at times and it never bothered me.  Not because it wasn’t derogatory, but because it literally held no actual weight on society as I knew it.  “Crackers” weren’t systematically oppressed.  “Crackers” weren’t being targeted by the police.  Being a “Cracker” didn’t affect your place in society.  “Cracker” was just a word.

Many people ask well “if the N word is so bad to say, then why isn’t the C word as bad” One is a word and the other torments you.  One word is used as a clap back and the other is used to cut you.  One is the word of the moment, the other is a word derived from the cruelest moments in our nation’s history.

Other people ask the question, “Why can’t I say the N word if Black people say it to each other?’  

It is because THAT is their word.  The N word has been used as a racial slur and a representation of the oppression for centuries.  Since the blood was first placed on the white hand by the slavery they instilled in this nation.  That blood, stains.  Every time a white person says the N word, it cuts like a knife in an open wound.  The N word represents all that is wrong with White vs. Black in this country.   Our Black American citizens decided that rather than let this word be used against them, they keep it.   That by being so restrained in its use, it gives white Americans (specifically) a taste of what it is like to not be entitled to “do anything they please, anywhere.”

So no, the C word will never be equal to the N word because Black Americans have never been offered that same opportunity.  They have been kneeled on by the power of government and law in a country that’s primary principle is that All Men Were Created Equal and All Men Deserve Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

So “Crackers”, if you find this word offensive, think of what a lifetime of being exploited feels like.

Juneteenth, Hidden in Plain Sight

I’m sure we can all agree that somewhere in our history books there was a mention of June 19, 1865.  I’m sure for most it was like the many other stories of oppression, hidden in plain sight.

How do you teach something yet still hide it?  How do stories of the lives of our Black brothers and sisters be told but not be of equal celebration?  How can June 13th not be a government holiday? How could we have not seen that this was a vital day to becoming America we know it to be?

Without this moment in time, many of the greatest moments in history by the hands of our Black brothers and sisters wouldn’t have existed.  Without this moment, some of the most beautiful children would have never been born.  Without this day in our country’s history, we would not have been impacted by some of the greatest influencer’s in our society.

So why has Juneteenth been hidden in plain site?  A day that memorializes June 19, 1865, when Union general Gordon Granger read orders in Galveston, Texas, that all previously enslaved people in Texas were free.  Although the Emancipation Proclamation had formally freed them almost two-and-a-half years earlier, and the American Civil War had ended with the defeat of the Confederate States in April, Texas was the most “remote” of the slave states, with a low presence of Union troops, so enforcement of the proclamation had been slow and inconsistent.

Why are not more of these moments in history celebrated like every other American Holiday when we, the masses, defeated evil.  We are witnessing a moment like no other before us, not because we are standing together, but because THEY are finally listening.

To my White Constituents…

As a grown white woman, I would like to speak to all of my fellow members of our race.  I would like to directly address you.  I am particularly speaking of the liberal mothers that won’t move down the street because there are too many black students at the other school.  To the white college student who didn’t feel comfortable walking into “that” bar because it looked too “ghetto”.  To the white grandparents who spoke of affirmative action like it was an easy ride.  To the white customer who would rather the white associate help them.  To the white people who look down upon other races as if they have something to prove.

I am here to tell you that “they” DON’T have anything to prove.  It is your turn to prove your worth to this community.

No, I’m not speaking to myself because I am not apart of YOU.  I have never wanted to be a part of that so my friends have always been every race and treated as family.  But I DON’T need to prove that to anyone because “my people” know me.  The kids know me.  The parents know me.  This movement represents the pain of many of my family members so I am taking this personally.

My entire life has consisted of me being bullied by YOU.  You now want to be an ally because it is convenient.  Because it is a part of pop culture.  But I have always been.  I’ve been there every day.  I have held their hands, made the best memories, supported them, and always lifted them to the kings and queens they are.  But YOU.  You need to take a long hard look at the fact that YOU just appeared on the scene.  All of sudden, you say it out loud.

All of sudden, you march through the streets, taking selfies using the #BLM.

I still see YOU for what you are until you prove that you want these people to have what YOU have.

I’m here to call you out.  I have always been on the side of right by my brothers and sisters of color.  I have always stood next to them no matter what would happen to me for doing so.  I’ve lived through your racist remarks and police harassment.  So I’m calling you out because this is a movement close to my heart.

This is a movement I have been living for my entire life.  This movement is going to ensure that we recognize and celebrate my brothers and sisters of color.  This movement is for them.

I’m calling you out, My White Constituents, to recognize your failures to the Black community.  To recognize the blind eye you turned and silence you maintained.  I’m pleading with you that you realize that until you continue to stand with our Black brothers and sisters, you will be asked to prove yourself.  The Black community knows which white people stood for this cause all their life.  If you are going to stand up, don’t plan on sitting back down on this one.  You are either a part of the solution or the problem.  Remember the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. “In the end we will not remember the words of our enemies, but the Silence of our Friends”.

What Can White People Do?

What Can White People Do?

I keep hearing the same question as if it seems so difficult to come to the answer.  What Can White People Do?  What can WE do?  What Can I do?

We’ve known the answer all of our lives.  We have lived the answer with every breath we take.

Did you grow up in a world with the comfort of stable food and shelter?  Were you able to walk in any door and know you would be treated with dignity and respect?  When stopped by the police, did they just take your ID and send you on your way?  Did you see many cop cars patrolling your neighborhood?  Did the police seem like they were always there to care for you and protect you?

If your life was like this, then I am speaking to you.  Your great-grandfathers sins do not rest on you, they live in you.  You get to live in a world that is fair and equal.  You get to feel as if the law is on your side.  But your brothers and sisters of color, they, do not.  They suffer from unlawful arrests and sentencing, harassment, and brutality all at the hands of power.

It is not that ALL police are bad and ALL lives don’t matter.  It is that there are lives of our fellow citizens that have been roughed up and taken by a system that is built to sustain it’s power.  White Power.

If you are like me, you don’t believe in White Power or what it represents.  But unfortunately for you, you are the beneficiary of such power.  And it is because of that that you were handed a responsibility.  A responsibility greater than any you have ever had and will ever have.  Use your voices, your money, your hands, your words and speak to that power.  Make sure they listen.  Call your representatives, gather in peaceful protests.  Be the change you want to see in the world.

This is dedicated to all my Black brothers and sisters.  The ones who treated me like family.  The ones who are still by my side to this day.  This is our fight.

Let Us Pray

Does it matter who we pray to, as long as we humble ourselves to the understanding that this is bigger than us and we are all connected?  I would strongly argue, No.  Prayer has become a term with a religious connotation.  But prayer, in its rawest form, is HOPE.  When we pray, we give thanks for the life we live and HOPE for a better tomorrow.  Prayer can be powerful.

Hands held, eyes closed, love in our hearts, hope in our soul.  Let Us Pray.  Let us pray for the people of the world.  Let us pray that they have another day.  Let Us Pray for the heavy heart that we all carry watching the disparities around the world.  Let Us Pray.  Let Us Pray for the evil that consumes so many.  Let Us Pray that it is ousted by good.  Let Us Pray that we realize our voice can make a difference.

Let Us Pray.  Let Us Pray that all children are warm with full bellies and happy thoughts.  Let Us Pray that we are given the time and capacity to see the good vs the evil.  Let Us Pray for the Black Men who walk with targets on their backs.  Let Us Pray that this stigma is lifted to form a better tomorrow.  Let Us Pray.

Let Us Pray for the Mother’s caring for their children alone.  Pray that they keep going because the future depends on them.

Let Us Pray for a country wounded by its founders.  Let Us Pray that, tomorrow we will be better, love more, and accept everyone as they are.  To pray for one is to pray for all, and to pray for all is our greatest gift and our guiding light.  Amen.

My White Privilege and Why I Can’t Be Silent

I was born in the middle class.  My grandmother an immigrant.  My appearance, blonde hair and blue eyes.  My skin color, white.  At a very young age, I learned a very valuable lesson.

For the rest of my life, I would be White and the people I held closest, Black.  I lived on a small island in New England, the epicenter of suburbia.  We knew the police in the neighborhood and would always feel comfortable approaching them for a sticker.

As a young child, my mother would take me from my neighborhood, to a neighborhood deemed, “the projects”, to be babysat by her best friend, a black women who I would come to know as my aunt.  Her daughter, my cousin, would be with me for life as a part of my family.  Her mother, my Nana, may she RIP.

I didn’t realize what our difference in skin color really meant in this world.  To me, at that time, I knew these were my people, my family.

Let’s move along to when I became a teenager.  I was very attracted to the athletes in the “city” school.  I dated a few.   They were young and handsome and Black.   I can remember, my best friend’s mother at the time, yelling about me dating one of them and that they were “Black as Sin”.  In that moment, EVERYTHING would start to become clearer.  Those words cut my soul.  They changed me.  Not to become like her mother, but to always push back against what THAT was.

Next stop, I move to an old southern neighborhood in the sticks of Florida.  My high school was heavily divided in groups of color and culture.  But I loved black culture.  Hip Hop was in its Golden Era, and I was absorbed growing up, 3 hours away from its center.  So I chose my friends, and even more importantly, I chose my extra curricular activity.  I decided to join what I thought was the best way to spend my remaining high school years, The Step Team.  P.U.S.H. (People United Serving Humanity).  That is who WE were.  I was one of two white girls on the team out of roughly 30.  Then one day, during a parade, a teammate was feeling nauseas and asked a local restaurant to use the bathroom.  She came out in tears telling us they wouldn’t let her and that their restaurant was for customers only.  She was Black, I was White.  I knew what needed to be done.  So I did it.  I went in with my White Skin and asked to use the bathroom, which, they permitted.  I went outside, grabbed my teammates hand and took her to the bathroom that was so conveniently available.  I was disgusted and NEVER would step foot in that restaurant again.

Let’s fast forward to a night out, with my Black girlfriends at 21 years young.  We went to an afterparty for a big HBCU rivalry game, which ended in a small fight between 2 men, to thereafter being escorted out of the building with the crowds of attendees by the SWAT team geared up for war.  I can still remember thinking how excessive their force was for something as minor as a bar fight.  I remember not being able to walk because of my stiletto heels and having officers tell me to move faster.  We hadn’t done ANYTHING but follow the directions.

Now lets move onto another moment.  A moment I was driving with an ex at night.  He was Black, I was White.  I remember seeing the cop lights behind me, thinking, why?  I had been driving the speed limit, my car was almost new.  Why?  When they pulled me over, I did ask why.  They told me that there was a rental that was reported stolen and that my car had out of state plates.  “Yes officer, I just moved from Florida”.  Then, they did something that again, would change me.  They went to my passenger, a young black man, and proceeded to ask for his ID.  When they took our ID’s back to the car, I looked at him and said, “this isn’t right, why would he need your ID” .  He told me, just relax and that these things happen to people that look like, him.  It infuriated me to feel the injustice in that moment.

Now, to the moment, that allowed me to see inside of what being profiled by the police felt like.  I was living in Las Vegas, promoting night clubs, walking on the strip all day to give out passes to partygoers.  One day, and many times after this, I was out talking to different groups of people about the clubs, when a cop tells me to go next to his car.  He then proceeded to ask me what I was doing out here.  I told him.  He said are you sure, your not out here prostituting.  I was speechless.  I was nauseated by what he was accusing me of.  He asked for my ID, but I didn’t have it.  He then told me I need to tell him the truth or I’ll be arrested.  But I was.  He had me standing on the side of Las Vegas Boulevard for almost an hour treating me like a prostitute who was going to be arrested, stripping me of any  freedom I thought I had.  In that moment, I felt less than human.  I felt scared.   This moment would repeat many times after that.  As long as I chose to stand on the strip and promote, the police chose to profile and harass me.

Being on the strip allowed me to see the true colors of bias the police would have against different groups of people.  Let me tell you, that in my two years and hundreds of days, walking the strip, young black men were the most targeted.  If you were a black man, in anything less than a suit, in a group of 2 or more, you would be interrogated.  Like clock work, I would watch the atrocity and know what that felt like, at least a fraction of it.  Like a snapshot in time, I saw what those minutes of interrogation would feel like.  I watched as young black men were stripped of their rights just for being Black.

THESE are just a few of the instances that helped me realize my fight is for this to STOP.  I will use my White Privilege to always stand on the right side of Justice.  These are my family members, my friends, and people I look up to that deal with the unfair treatment on a DAILY BASIS.  I’m SO FORTUNATE that I have seen what THIS was from the moment my world was disrupted by RACISM.  It is HATE, and it doesn’t belong in the United States of America.  Period.