A Smile to Remember, RIP Big Daddy

Posted on by serenitisparkles

Too often we never get the chance to say goodbye.

It all happened so fast. Like a lightning bolt that strikes down a beautiful palm. My best friend called me crying. Kenya got shot. Chills ran through my body and I remember feeling so helpless. I could hear her deep pain. And I understood why. Kenya aka Big Daddy was larger than life. He had a smile that made your heart melt. Kenya was like a teddy bear. He was there to help and never to harm. All I could remember thinking was WHO could be so evil.

My best friend told me he was on life support at a hospital about 20 mins away. She told me that the whole family was there. I dropped everything and went to be with them.

What would come next would stay with me forever.

When I got to the hospital I saw the family crowded by his bed side as my best friend walked out to tell me, he’s gone.

That day ended in pain and tragedy, but what it would bring was a sign of unity never seen before.

In order to tell this story properly, let me give you some background on my experience with my best friend, Kenya and the family that you won’t know if you are just reading this.

About 5 years before this tragic day, I moved to the south from New England. My white skin and love for Hip Hop music would make me an awkward fit at the time for this heavily separated town. When I first entered the high school lunch room it was obvious that most groups were separated by color or ethnicity rather than interests or life experiences.

I felt alone at the time because I related more to the black kids in the school because of Hip Hop culture, but I wasn’t necessarily accepted by them at first. Until I met my best friend, Kenya, and the family. They just truly saw ME. Me and my best friend became inseparable and Kenya’s smile became a reassurance that I was always good where ever I was in town. I was so blessed to have each and everyone of them in my life, especially Kenya. They were the definition of what family stood for. Always together, and I was always welcome.

I had come from a broken home and family that was separated by 1000 miles. My mother, whom I was living with at the time, was suffering from breast cancer, and I just remember feeling the embrace that I needed from all of them. It came right on time.

As the years passed on I saw Kenya grow up from a boy into a man. July 4th was the last day I got to spend with him. I remember there was a cookout at one of the family members houses and Kenya was the reason that July 4th was a hit for all of us. He brought hundreds of dollars worth of fireworks and began the show. We were outside for hours that day, basking in the beauty of the fireworks show that Kenya was putting on as he poured his energy into it. He was a bright light for all of us, and that day, he did his thing. Less than a month later, he was gone.

Hopelessness and sadness filled the family circle, but like always they stuck together. As the years would pass, his brother, sister and cousins would start an event for his birthday in his name. RIP Big Daddy. In the beginning, maybe a couple hundred would show up and celebrate and the police would always try to shut it down. Every year, more and more began to come. Like a fire igniting, it would continue to burn. Whether we realized it or not, Kenya’s energy lived far beyond his death.

This year, thousands would gather in the name of Big Daddy and Ending Gun Violence. The police that used to try and shut it down, would be forced to get behind the cause.

I don’t believe that our energy ever really leaves this earth and I believe that Kenya aka Big Daddy is proof of that.

I will always miss you, but your smile lives in my memory bank to remind me that life is worth smiling about. RIP Big Daddy.

Silence is having blood on your hands…It is time White People

Posted on by serenitisparkles

For my entire life thus far, I have watched as some of the people I cared for most in this world being tormented by a system built to oppress them. Through the years I have seen what the simple color of my skin meant to my experience in this world and more specifically this country. The shame I have, to see others that look like me and that hold the same privilege sit in silence. The pain I’ve felt watching my friends and family members be treated as less than or overlooked despite their clear capabilities. The sickness I feel every time I see the outright mistreatment by law enforcement.

Let me be clear when I say, you may love your neighbor no matter the color of their skin, but if you do not speak truth to power, then you too have blood on your hands. How many times do we have to see the blatant disrespect and disregard for human lives? How many times do we have to watch the difference in being black in America vs white in America to know we must not be silent? I’ve written hundreds of articles, praying they reach someone else that needs to hear these words. I’ve listened to my friends and family of color so that I can be better in the fight against racism.

This is getting to the point that it is NO LONGER acceptable for you to just love thy neighbor, you must also be willing to fight for thy neighbor. Imagine a world where every time you walked out into the public, you had to fear that you would be in harm’s way or treated as less than. Imagine that you were treated this way every single day of your life, not because you deserved it, but because of the pigment of your skin. It may not be you that engages in racism or hate. It may not be you that assists in the breakdown of another human’s rights. But it is because of you and your silence that we have witnessed a rise in racism. It is because of that silence that white supremacists marched on the capital as if they would have no repercussions and not be held accountable for such hate.

I am going to keep writing and keep telling white people what they need to hear. I am going to keep speaking up against the most dangerous type of hate that exists in America. The mentality that you or I are better because of the color of our skin is a fallacy and one we are responsible for deconstructing. If you choose to not speak up against what is happening with racism in America, then you my friend, have blood on your hands. PERIOD.

We create the box, and then try to fit

Posted on by serenitisparkles

However metaphorical this blog seems, it is actually a very simple concept of what we as humans have become. Once born, we enter the world with no preconceived notion about the world around us except what has been in us for eternity. Our souls are as pure as nature and all its elements. Yet, we as a human race grew into this existence with one defining truth of whom we would become. Our energy flows just like the river. It finds its feeling in the movements of us as living beings. It is taught everything it will become as it develops.

Our human existence has the ability to be in the state, whichever state it chooses, yet we as people decided that we would put restraints on every aspect of our nature. Rules, regulations and laws, though finite in principal are merely a creation of the laws decided on amongst ourselves.

Our natural state as humans is to feed off of the energy of the world around us and every living being it crosses paths with.

So now let’s talk about the box or boxes that were created just as boxes are made. They are structured and definite in nature, and sized in relation to those who create it. They are not meant to be fluid or adjusted as they are a fixed element on earth.

We have created many boxes in every category of human nature. Love, feelings, appearance, speech, and thoughts have all been targeted as elements to fit inside of these set boxes.

The reality is, that what lives in us is much more abstract than that. Every single human on this planet has what is called the human factor, or the ultimate level of consciousness. A piece of every one of us that falls outside of each box. Every human, no matter how much they try and define themselves, find it hard to fit in much of anything. It isn’t we are not “normal”. It is that we were never meant to be.

With the age of social media, so many of us have been more enlightened than ever. We’ve opened our eyes and our understanding to humans across the globe like never before. We have seen into the eyes of someone on the other side of the planet and they are relatable in one way or another.

We were meant to be relatable, and different at the same time. We were made with the uniqueness of our inner self. We are finally finding our voices to break the systematic boxes set before us by the “Rules”. The world is heading toward a new day. The day we finally accept that we all have that factor within us that allows us to bridge the gap and break through the boxes. I can’t wait for a more conscious world and more accepting humans.

Oh, You’re “that type” of White Girl

Posted on by serenitisparkles

The racism I have endured from my own color folk. Here’s my story. 

Growing up, loving Hip Hop, making multi cultural friends, primarily black, I realized very quickly there was a stereotype and hate for someone like me.  Subliminal hate rules over many parts of our country.  Being pulled over for no reason, escorted out of clubs by the swat team, surrounded by cops cars with their guns drawn, discriminated against because of my association, hate words spewed at me, all my experience for being white and loving my black brothers and sisters.  

I was never accepted by the majority of my white peers because they believed I was trying to be a part of something that wasn’t for me.  Snickerlicker, ghetto, and wigger were just some of the words sent my way.  Since the age of 14 when I fell in love with Hip Hop music and culture, I became the “other” type of white person.  My love for Hip Hop would give me the most amazing friends and experiences I could have ever imagined, but it would also put me in the category that most of my black friends and family were born into.  

My experience isn’t unique by any means.  Just ask the ones like me.  But my experience gave me a unique perspective inside of a world that most can’t possibly see.  Many people that look like me have chosen to do the white thing, while I chose to do the right thing.  

People are not a color to me.  Everyone is a unique soul living on this planet and many have a collective experience.  Unfortunately for our Black Americans, that experience has not been kind.  In many instances, that experience has been the definition of criminal.  The hate, oppression, judgement, and misrepresentation that Black Americans have faced is a disgrace to humanity.  Or at least it should be.  

One of my white friends once said to me when I was the only white person on the step team, aren’t you worried about what people will think of you?  My answer, said 20 years ago, still holds true today.  No, because anyone that sees my happiness and inclusivity as wrong, doesn’t need to be in my circle.  

Standing for Black Americans is easy for me, it always has been.  Though my experience was just instances of insight into the Black experience, I have been humbled, time and time again.  To think that my friends and family are treated in this way on a daily basis is one thought that will never leave my mind.  My only hope is that others are humbled by the unlimited amount of information that we have collected to understand that racism, hate and systematic oppression is real.  Just ask , the “other” type of white person.  My hope is that more of us can break the stereotype and stand up as white people for all people who are silenced or treated unjustly.  If America is the greatest country in the world, it’s time we start acting like it.

We are supposed to be better than they were…

Posted on by serenitisparkles

This blog talks of generations. From many different lifetimes. Old and new. Most of all, the ones alive today, are being taught a lesson, we are much more mortal than we want to realize. In society most of our views come from different generations. The old versus the young. Whats the difference between our views as Gen Z and Gen Alpha than the Baby Boomers and Silent Generation?

The answer is in front of us everyday, all the time. There is a component to our growth as humans to understand where the world became more enlightened. Ideas today began because of the trendsetters of our history being “woke”. It began with ideas from many individuals, then it became a whole new world.

The internet joined all of us in 1991 when we were able to connect instantly (or at least with a short delay). It changed humanity as we would ever know it to be.

Why? Our IQs aren’t higher than the people of the past, but our access to universal information is. For the past 30 years we have been becoming informed.

In the past, for our parents and grand parents, it was information in books. But even the most avid readers of the past generations weren’t holding all the cards. Today, I can talk to Siri, search anything my heart desired, at the command of my voice. Today, I meet people from all over the world. Today, we understand others unlike ourselves. The newer generations are not better with everything that they do, but they are more informed. Equality and stability is a right for us all, not just in my town, my city, but for all humans. Gen Z and Gen Alpha will be the new way. My hope is that we realize our strengths as a generation and our weaknesses and become better humans. We all deserve to leave this world with more healing and understanding than before. Every generation is a trial on what works and what doesn’t work in our world. If we don’t use that data to make the world a more peaceful and connected place, then we have missed our opportunity.

I didn’t know speaking about equality would get me REJECTED from FB

Posted on by serenitisparkles

I have always been a person of deep spirituality. Prophetic some might say. I have always thought about what it means to live with purpose. Purpose is what drives me to write. I’ve never been paid to write or encouraged to go against the laws of the land. But what happens when my free speech, and sharing it with others is rejected.

For the first time in my life, power has silenced me. My voice is no different than any other average American. I am not famous or powerful. I am humble. I want nothing more in my life than to leave a valuable message for the generations that live beyond me. I want nothing more than to right the wrongs or at least try to.

Never would I have thought that one of my blogs, written from my heart with only good intent, would be rejected by a platform. Speaking truth to power is important, but what happens when power won’t let us be heard.

I wrote a blog yesterday about supporting my Black brothers and sisters in their fight to gain true equal rights from a system that has silenced them for too long. It was nothing more than what every faith lives on; Treat others how you want to be treated. It is so simple, yet so complex in the world we are living in. An opinion is all. An opinion that spoke of love and support was rejected by FB. I didn’t understand it so I dug further.

I found that in order for me to write about equality, I must first disclose my name, phone number, and address to the platform for approval. Why would I do such a thing, when I watch whistleblowers from around the world be silenced and forgotten. The people in charge want to know who I am before I can speak about what is right. Why? I am not a politician. I am not organizing the resistance. What is the resistance anyway? Isn’t this something we ALL want to see before we take our last breath?

I had to write about it, like so many other things. More than ever, I had to speak up for what I see as wrong. I had to speak up for those who can no longer speak. I had to speak up so that the day I take my last breath, I know I never walked away from the truth. We should all be working towards love. We should all be working towards a better future for each other. These blogs are for my friends, my family, and anyone that ever needed confirmation that love is the way. You can silence me today, but just know I will keep writing, unapologetically.

Starbucks, Dunkin’ Donuts, and the Pandemic

Posted on by serenitisparkles

The entire world has been shut down in order to defeat COVID-19 from spreading and killing millions of people.  Governments have closed their borders and ordered people to shelter in place.  The US did too, until it was summertime.

Summertime in the US means beaches, pools, parties, vacations, and fun.  Even with COVID lurking at our doorsteps, killing our loved ones, we can’t help ourselves.   While many countries in the world are still stuck inside, state by state, the US began to open it’s doors.  Some states, like FL and Georgia, jumped into summertime too soon.  Georgia and Florida are among the states that are seeing their highest daily numbers to date.   Yet, still, no shelter in place order.

I reside in Georgia and I can tell you exactly why we are climbing in COVID cases rapidly.  It’s quite simple.

I will break it down by using two of the countries biggest corporations.  Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts.

While out driving to different locations to do estimates, I went in to Starbucks to order my coffee and began by heading to bathroom to wash my hands.  I was reprimanded by someone in the back yelling, “BATHROOMS ARE CLOSED”.

There was literally no one in the building but me, my boyfriend and the employees, but I understood their position and left.  Not because the bathroom was closed, but because of the way the employee yelled at me, assuming I should know the rules of COVID restrictions today.

I headed around the corner to Dunkin Donuts where I proceed to do the same.  As my boyfriend ordered our coffees, I go to the bathroom.  Again, it was only us and the employees.  I used the bathroom, came out, grabbed my coffee and went about my day.  NO REPRIMAND or assumption of what I should know.

So let’s analyze this story and we will see why we can’t seem to contain this pandemic.  Two businesses, located within half a mile of each other, same product, two different rules regarding the pandemic.

How are we, the American people supposed to get a handle of how to stay safe during this pandemic, if our governors and business leaders can’t agree on what to do?

Until we have a universal order, enforced by all states in a uniformed way, COVID will run ramped among us.

Teach them…

Posted on by serenitisparkles

2020 has brought clarity to everything around us.  It has exposed our greatest fears and highlighted our greatest love.  It has brought us to our knees with humility.  Through the Pandemic, the Economic Downfall, and Civil unrest, we have been given our most important opportunity.

It is our time to teach the future generations the most vital lessons of today.  We can wait no longer to be conscious of what humanity has the power to do, both for good and evil.  If we do not teach them what these lessons are, there may not be a bright future.

So let’s begin,

Covid-19 came in like a tornado and has wiped over 100,000 Americans from the face of the earth.  It has caused many to lose the people they cherish most in an instant.  The ripple effect of all of those deaths has caused us to understand that everyone’s life can inadvertently cause someone’s death.  We are humbled.  Take care of you, take care of your neighbor, life depends on it.

 

The Economic downfall has caused people to lose their homes, their savings, and their stability.  Like an earthquake, it all started to crack.  The floor beneath us started to fall out.  Work hard and save because you don’t know if tomorrow will be a day the floor is no longer there.

 

And finally,  the Civil unrest.  This is what happens to a nation of people who have been silenced for too long.  Complacency can be the enemy if you allow it to live within you.  Accepting the mistreatment of others can also kill.  Without saying a word, you can take part in allowing a system to harm the people it represents.  More than ever, in 2020, we understand that we have to speak up, our lives depend on it.

 

As we smile around the world through our selfies and group photos, we are missing our sparkle.  We are losing our light as hopelessness grows within all of us.  Teach them that strength and respect for one another can save us.  Teach them to walk back into the light we once knew.  Teach them so that the smiles of the future will never be so grim.  Teach them…

To my White Constituents…

Posted on by serenitisparkles

As a grown white woman, I would like to speak to all of my fellow members of our race.  I would like to directly address you.  I am particularly speaking of the liberal mothers that won’t move down the street because there are too many black students at the other school.  To the white college student who didn’t feel comfortable walking into “that” bar because it looked too “ghetto”.  To the white grandparents who spoke of affirmative action like it was an easy ride.  To the white customer who would rather the white associate help them.  To the white people who look down upon other races as if they have something to prove.

I am here to tell you that “they” DON’T have anything to prove.  It is your turn to prove your worth to this community.

No, I’m not speaking to myself because I am not apart of YOU.  I have never wanted to be a part of that so my friends have always been every race and treated as family.  But I DON’T need to prove that to anyone because “my people” know me.  The kids know me.  The parents know me.  This movement represents the pain of many of my family members so I am taking this personally.

My entire life has consisted of me being bullied by YOU.  You now want to be an ally because it is convenient.  Because it is a part of pop culture.  But I have always been.  I’ve been there every day.  I have held their hands, made the best memories, supported them, and always lifted them to the kings and queens they are.  But YOU.  You need to take a long hard look at the fact that YOU just appeared on the scene.  All of sudden, you say it out loud.

All of sudden, you march through the streets, taking selfies using the #BLM.

I still see YOU for what you are until you prove that you want these people to have what YOU have.

I’m here to call you out.  I have always been on the side of right by my brothers and sisters of color.  I have always stood next to them no matter what would happen to me for doing so.  I’ve lived through your racist remarks and police harassment.  So I’m calling you out because this is a movement close to my heart.

This is a movement I have been living for my entire life.  This movement is going to ensure that we recognize and celebrate my brothers and sisters of color.  This movement is for them.

I’m calling you out, My White Constituents, to recognize your failures to the Black community.  To recognize the blind eye you turned and silence you maintained.  I’m pleading with you that you realize that until you continue to stand with our Black brothers and sisters, you will be asked to prove yourself.  The Black community knows which white people stood for this cause all their life.  If you are going to stand up, don’t plan on sitting back down on this one.  You are either a part of the solution or the problem.  Remember the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. “In the end we will not remember the words of our enemies, but the Silence of our Friends”.

What Can White People Do?

Posted on by serenitisparkles

What Can White People Do?

I keep hearing the same question as if it seems so difficult to come to the answer.  What Can White People Do?  What can WE do?  What Can I do?

We’ve known the answer all of our lives.  We have lived the answer with every breath we take.

Did you grow up in a world with the comfort of stable food and shelter?  Were you able to walk in any door and know you would be treated with dignity and respect?  When stopped by the police, did they just take your ID and send you on your way?  Did you see many cop cars patrolling your neighborhood?  Did the police seem like they were always there to care for you and protect you?

If your life was like this, then I am speaking to you.  Your great-grandfathers sins do not rest on you, they live in you.  You get to live in a world that is fair and equal.  You get to feel as if the law is on your side.  But your brothers and sisters of color, they, do not.  They suffer from unlawful arrests and sentencing, harassment, and brutality all at the hands of power.

It is not that ALL police are bad and ALL lives don’t matter.  It is that there are lives of our fellow citizens that have been roughed up and taken by a system that is built to sustain it’s power.  White Power.

If you are like me, you don’t believe in White Power or what it represents.  But unfortunately for you, you are the beneficiary of such power.  And it is because of that that you were handed a responsibility.  A responsibility greater than any you have ever had and will ever have.  Use your voices, your money, your hands, your words and speak to that power.  Make sure they listen.  Call your representatives, gather in peaceful protests.  Be the change you want to see in the world.

This is dedicated to all my Black brothers and sisters.  The ones who treated me like family.  The ones who are still by my side to this day.  This is our fight.