loss

Many people will tell you about the sorrow, anger, sadness, distraught, depression, and every other feeling that comes with the death of a loved one. What they ALL fail to mention are the new “Firsts” you will experience.

We all think about out first time as being about moments such as a kiss, sex, a first born child, first time away from home, or any other first that brought you to a new and exciting journey in life. We NEVER think about the “first” without them.

When you lose someone that is part of your daily existence, be it a significant other, a brother, sister, mother, father, or child, you open a new journey, filled with many new “Firsts”. These firsts, however will bring immense pain and sorrow to your life.

The first time you eat breakfast alone, the first Holiday without them, the first day they were not there to kiss you goodnight, the first time you cry without their comfort.

These are the reasons that people will tell you, “In time you will heal”. Once the firsts have all happened. These “First moments” will be like living in an alternate reality. One moment you are with your loved one, the next moment, it’s just you.

I encourage you, the next time you laugh or cry with someone you love, try to imagine what the first cry without them will feel like. If you can dig deep within you to bask in their present of life, when they are gone, the “Firsts” will be expected and the “Lasts” will LAST FOREVER.

Believe that you can be happy for this moment in time. Believe that you were meant to live in the light.

I write these words, because there was once a time where the words were the only clue of what it felt like to live in the light. These words that I give often are the same words that saved me from a grim future. These words, my words, saved my life.

These are how the words would speak to me, even when I was blinded by gloom.

Believe that you can be happy for a moment in time, stop living with the burden that something tragic is about to present itself.

The burden becomes the chains that wear you. They inhibit true bliss. They live in the unexpected, because the chains are uncertain. They live because of the tragic moments you’ve experienced and fear to relive. You lie awake at night and your mind races. The chains cover you. Each day brings new sunlight and new opportunity, but you don’t seek it. At times you can’t even see the light ahead.

Then one day you face the fear and remove the burden. You recognize that without each tragedy, the happy moments and miracles that come to you wouldn’t have been possible. That you have become even more authentic because of the pain. You realize that you walked through abuse, death, illness, loneliness and found the light again.

The glimpse of light came from the voice within you. You learned to wear those tragic experiences like a badge. At one point you felt the world had failed you, that you had failed you, but instead of ending it all, you chose to keep searching for the light.

You realized that through your entire life, subconsciously, you had been filling a bottle of happy experiences and excited feelings. When in you darkest moments, the bottle would show you the light.

Humility is that bottle. Humility is what reminds us all that no matter how tragic or terrible our existence is, if we are granted another day, then we have everything we need to HEAL.

Living the “Firsts”, after they die

Break Away From The Clouds, Find HUMILITY.