Sereniti

Posted on by serenitisparkles

God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

Courage to change the things I can

and the Wisdom to know the difference…

This is the most simple and rewarding path to true inner peace.

We often go through hardships that we feel overtake our soul.  They are so painful that we can’t find a way through.  Usually the pain is in sync with so many other feelings, such as love, disappointment, fear, anxiety, and sadness.  When we feel this type of pain, it can be almost too unbearable for us.  Days can go by that you sit in this dark place.  There is no light at the end of the tunnel and you can’t imagine a day without this pain.

This is when I turn to the words listed at the beginning. 

God Grant me the serenity to ACCEPT the things I cannot change. This is most valuable.  There are external factors to your experience on earth.  That be, the feelings of others, the actions of others, environmental circumstance, economic loss, among many others.  These are things that we have to accept. It is just the way it is, but how can you make a difference for your life.  How can you become better, despite the circumstance.  Baby Steps…

Courage to change the things I can.  Courage is a word so powerful in its sound that it lifts us.  What is courage?  Courage can mean extreme change, control, or thoughtfulness no matter the circumstance.  Courage is walking through the fire because you believe happiness is to come again.

And, WISDOM to know the difference.  Be wise with your choices.  Accept when you can’t change something and move on.  Walk through the fire if you know that you will be lifted because of it.  Always, be wise, listen to your inner voice.  It is the voice that guides us all.

 

This blog post is dedicated to my daughter, Sereniti.  Mommy has always got you, in this life and forever.

 

 

Living the “Firsts”, after they die

Posted on by serenitisparkles

Many people will tell you about the sorrow, anger, sadness, distraught, depression, and every other feeling that comes with the death of a loved one.  What they ALL fail to mention are the new “Firsts” you will experience.

We all think about out first time as being about moments such as a kiss, sex, a first born child, first time away from home, or any other first that brought you to a new and exciting journey in life.  We NEVER think about the “first” without them.

When you lose someone that is part of your daily existence, be it a significant other, a brother, sister, mother, father, or child, you open a new journey, filled with many new “Firsts”.  These firsts, however will bring immense pain and sorrow to your life.

The first time you eat breakfast alone, the first Holiday without them, the first day they were not there to kiss you goodnight, the first time you cry without their comfort.

These are the reasons that people will tell you, “In time you will heal”.  Once the firsts have all happened.  These “First moments” will be like living in an alternate reality.  One moment you are with your loved one, the next moment, it’s just you.

I encourage you, the next time you laugh or cry with someone you love, try to imagine what the first cry without them will feel like.  If you can dig deep within you to bask in their present of life, when they are gone, the “Firsts” will be expected and the “Lasts” will LAST FOREVER.

Break Away From The Clouds, Find HUMILITY.

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Believe that you can be happy for this moment in time.  Believe that you were meant to live in the light.

I write these words, because there was once a time where the words were the only clue of what it felt like to live in the light.  These words that I give often are the same words that saved me from a grim future.  These words, my words, saved my life.

These are how the words would speak to me, even when I was blinded by gloom.

Believe that you can be happy for a moment in time, stop living with the burden that something tragic is about to present itself.

The burden becomes the chains that wear you.  They inhibit true bliss.  They live in the unexpected, because the chains are uncertain.  They live because of the tragic moments you’ve experienced and fear to relive.  You lie awake at night and your mind races.  The chains cover you.  Each day brings new sunlight and new opportunity, but you don’t seek it.  At times you can’t even see the light ahead.

Then one day you face the fear and remove the burden.  You recognize that without each tragedy, the happy moments and miracles that come to you wouldn’t have been possible.  That you have become even more authentic because of the pain.  You realize that you walked through abuse, death, illness, loneliness and found the light again.

The glimpse of light came from the voice within you.  You learned to wear those tragic experiences like a badge.  At one point you felt the world had failed you, that you had failed you, but instead of ending it all, you chose to keep searching for the light.

You realized that through your entire life, subconsciously, you had been filling a bottle of happy experiences and excited feelings.  When in you darkest moments, the bottle would show you the light.

Humility is that bottle.  Humility is what reminds us all that no matter how tragic or terrible our existence is, if we are granted another day, then we have everything we need to HEAL.

Only the Survivors…

Posted on by serenitisparkles

If you haven’t had to fall, then you can’t possibly understand what low means.  What it means to begin with nothing or to lose everything.  To have never felt indescribable pain, you are unable to feel true peace.

Many that fall, however, will never get back up.  Many will lie down and let the world fall down upon them.  Then, there will be some, survivors.

A survivor is one of the most powerful and influential people ever known.  Not by their wealth in property or material, but by the wealth of their spirit.  They will captivate your circle as they speak through their eyes.

A survivor will have a sparkle, that others cannot generate.  Not because they didn’t have the chance to be the survivor, but they allowed hopelessness to bleed into the deepest parts of their soul.

Hope, Redemption, and Love are vital to every survivor.  Because without those, they too would be drowning in the vault of emptiness.

When you have a survivor in your life, their number one goal is to influence others.  To drive away despair with the energy they have come to know in their fight.

A survivor has hope, beyond your imagination.  They have been to the darkest places in their lives, found a way to rise up, and smile to light up a room.  They use their pain to give other’s appreciation and humility.

A survivor won’t give up on themselves or the rest of the world.  They will believe in redemption and reclamation of the young child they once were.  They will remember the innocence, focus on that, and heal.

Most of all, the survivor will give love.  The feeling of their energy will make you feel lifted.  Without a word, they can speak to your heart.  Their experiences will allow you a space to comprehend what it truly means to pick yourself back up.

A survivor, gives. 

I am a SURVIVOR.

I learned to accept and respect all of it, take something good out of it, and I chose to rise above it.  I chose to give my deepest emotions. It’s the reason I still believe. 

This world is not walking all over me, I am walking.  I am not a victim of circumstance, I am a survivor and teacher.  Life doesn’t happen to you, you happen to it.

We all have the opportunity to overcome, but we all can’t remember how we began in this place called earth.  Can You?

My Paschal’s Experience, in honor of MLK Jr.

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To everyone that know’s the name, Paschal’s Restaurant located in Atlanta, GA, they understand it to be a staple in Atlanta.  Paschal’s Restaurant has been around since the civil rights movement when Martin Luther King Jr. would organize at their dining room tables.  It is a restaurant that speaks to the core of Atlanta and the United States.   To me, Paschal’s Restaurant is so much more than that.

To explain more about this feeling, let me begin by addressing who I am.  I am a 35 year old caucasian female.  Raised around my father’s Italian mother, and my mother’s best friend, Ruby and her daughter Angelique.  At a young age I knew what it meant to be of a different culture.  I also was aware of, the oppression that came behind it.  They say, don’t speak on another person’s journey, as you know not.  Always speak from your own experiences, always from the heart.  Growing up, I was consumed by Hip Hop music and culture.  My favorite dance music has always been and will always be, Dancehall.

When you think about why you find your best friends in life, think about the bond that ties you.  Mine was music.  Most of my friends growing up did not look like me.  We connected through the music.  Yet, there were still things I needed to understand.    I remember being in a heated conversation about race and what my white privilege meant for me.  At 14 years old my best friend, Venice, brought me to tears because I would never truly understand what it meant like to feel the systematic oppression that was placed on people of color.  As I grew up I began to understand what she meant.

Over time I experienced being with my black friends, getting refused to use a bathroom for a sick friend, being pulled over for no reason by the police, and being escorted by military officers out of City Walk when Cash Money was performing.

No I didn’t walk everyday as an African American, but my whole life, I have been walking beside them.  Watching all the injustices unfold.  Decades after the Civil Rights movement, being Black in America was still a stigma.

I made it my purpose to break the stereotype of the “white” American.  I needed to show the better side of who we were.  Love was how I would lead.

One day, I decided to move to the mecca of music, ATL.  When I got to Atlanta, I had to get money as soon as possible.  Within a week, I had an interview.  Paschal’s Restaurant had called me to interview and I was so excited to be working downtown Atlanta.

When I researched Paschal’s restaurant online, I was intimidated.  Such a statue in the south, such a monumental name.  I hope I was good enough.  I was so excited to walk through those doors.  paschals2.jpg

When I got to the interview, tall Photos of Martin Luther King Jr. hung on the walls.   Every server and bartender was African American, and then there was me.   Blonde hair, blue eyes and ready to work.

I remember phone calls, while bartending at Paschal’s from elderly African American people asking me, so politely, if I was caucasian.  I would always smile, because my love for Paschals and Paschal’s love for me was exactly what Martin Luther King Jr. fought for.  Not only to coexist, but to treat each other as family.  To find our likeness and walk together.

To say I was accepted by Paschal’s was an understatement.  From the bartenders, servers, and kitchen staff, Paschal’s became my family and remains that way 4 years later.  mlkday.jpg

Everyone has experienced that place that you finally feel at “home”.  Home can mean many things to many people.  But my feeling of home comes from a place, that has always seemed to be a monument in my life, even before I knew it existed.  

So today, as I sit in my favorite spot, at my home away from home, I can’t help but remember the great words of MLK Jr.

“People fail to get along because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don’t know each other; they don’t know each other because they have not communicated with each other.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Media Mind Control

Posted on by serenitisparkles

 

def; noun Mind Control is a process where a group or individual uses methods to persuade others to change their basic beliefs and values.  

Imagine you are introduced to a new friend.  A friend that is so captivating, you can’t take your eyes off of them.  This friend becomes the best keeper of your deepest, darkest secrets. They become your counselor, constantly steering you.  

Now imagine that this person has become the ONLY one in the world who knows you, COMPLETELY.  But this friend, was not a friend. This friend was a wolf in sheep’s clothing. This friend only wanted to profit off of everything they knew.  They wanted to sell your thoughts in order to control your next move. They had their own agenda. It was an agenda that if carried out, would end in you living every moment to maximize their profit.  

Most wouldn’t want a friend like this.  But we all HAVE this friend. Say Hello to MEDIA!

When I speak about media, I speak on it in a broad sense.  Media, in this instance, ranges from social media, streaming media(Youtube, Netflix, Hulu, etc), Search Engines (Google, Bing, Yahoo, etc), and any other platform that DIRECTS and MANAGES end users.  

The media’s primary goal is to get closer to each end user(us), in order to analyze our behaviors, collect data, create a profile unique to each user, and then sell who we are to drive up sales for anyone willing to pay for our information.  All of the media platforms are built to know as much information as possible about each individual. Things like;

 

  1.  What time are we most active online?
  2. What memes do we share?
  3. What restaurants do we eat at?
  4. Which articles do we read?
  5. How long did we watch that viral video?

 

The fact that every platform knows this information is disturbing, but what’s far worse and more dangerous is that they also know things like;

 

  1.  Who your family members are.
  2. Who are the closest people to you?
  3. That you were sick last week.
  4. Today, you celebrate the birth of your newborn.

There will be a time when few can resist the life the Media has painted for you.  Few will turn everything off, look inside themselves, and find what they want in life.  We ALL have the capability to think for ourselves, and create an image of the world as we see fit.  If you “follow” the media, there will come a day when you can no longer LEAD. If you are a leader, BE a Leader and shut everything off, create your own thought process.

 

Look In The Mirror; The Art of Self Reflection

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When you look in the mirror, who is staring back at you? Do you even take the time to look under all of the layers that have become you? What do others say about you, the ones who are closest? What do they say is your greatest gift and your biggest fault?

It took me a long time to even start to evaluate these things for myself, until I became a mother. It wasn’t just that I became a mother and decided to self reflect. It was that I became a mother and was pushed against the wall and on the brink of losing everything, including my self worth. It was the moment that I no longer had the answers or direction. It was a feeling of pure helplessness that brought me to stand in the mirror and dive into my deepest layers to discover how to dig myself out of the madness.

As I would look at my daughter, a gift.  She must have meant that I was worth something,  right?  I created a miracle. A healthy, happy beauty in this world, yet I couldn’t enjoy it. I was fighting my faults and my light was beginning to burn out.

Luckily, I began to stare into the mirror. I began to identify what and who I was in this world and to be honest about my weaknesses.

By identifying my weaknesses, I was able to search for ways to become stronger. One weakness in particular was my inability to be consistent. Scatterbrained is what most would call me. So I searched for books and people who were organized. I searched for the things that I was not so I could learn the HOW.

I read, “Think and Grow Rich” and there was a chapter on Auto Suggestion. It described how to trick your mind into doing instead of thinking. And there it was, a eureka moment. So I began with putting my keys in the same place everyday. Then going to the gym every other day. Then writing down notes to myself. I realized the key to my weaknesses was being open. I had to be open to the strength that others possessed. I had to be real about the fact that I did not. I had to be humble about starting from the basics.

If you have even one more year on this planet, what would you do with it? Who would you become and HOW would you do it? The answer is simple. LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

I AM VENEZOLANO (Spanish/English).

Posted on by serenitisparkles

Never could I imagine being separated from my parents, thousands of miles away, only with my young siblings.  Never could I imagine, standing in the streets all day, selling candy, hoping to make money for food.  When kids around the world would be in school, I would be standing in the heat of the sun.  Being forced to leave my home country because it was my only chance for food and shelter.  Though this is a reality I cannot imagine, being from the United States of America, it is a reality for the children in this video.  As I visit the beautiful country of Colombia, I can’t help but notice the many Venezuelan’s in the streets.  They have come to Colombia for the simplest of things; Food, Shelter, and Medical care.  There is a crisis in Venezuela right now that is catastrophic.  I couldn’t ignore what was standing in front of me.  This blog is dedicated to the people who have been pushed into extreme poverty by a corrupt government.  It is dedicated to…..The Venezolanos.

 

Time is Our Most Valuable Resource

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If I lose a dollar, I can replace it with another, but, If I lose an hour of time, I will NEVER get that hour back.  My father once said to me, “I’ll sleep when I die.”  This was a man who woke up every morning at sunrise and didn’t go to sleep until 1 or 2 in the morning.  He couldn’t have been more right.  Today, that same man is asleep forever, may he rest in peace.

Watching so closely the full cycle of life, from my daughter being born to my father’s untimely death,  has taught me a crucial lesson.  Time is my most valuable resource.  Every moment of each day is an opportunity.  It can be an opportunity to share time with a loved one, an opportunity to write, an opportunity to take a chance, and the most beautiful fact is that every moment is an OPPORTUNITY.

Many of us live in the past, or look to the future.  How many of us actually live in the NOW?  Since my father’s passing I try to ALWAYS live in the present.  I am constantly asking myself, am I happy with my moment right now.  If I am not, then I quickly adjust myself to think positively and change course.  I do not know many things, but what I am definite of is that this is my moment.  My life span could last another 50 years, or 50 seconds, but what I choose to do with my moment is vital to my quality of life.

When we fail to look around us and bask in our present, we fail to see the beauty of living.  Life is a gift.  No matter how many times we fall short, we are alive.  We have something that is so precious.  We have something that for all of us, will run out.  So when you wake up in the morning, appreciate and utilize the time you are given because it will be gone before you know it.

The Process of Progress

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When was the last time you can remember writing down a goal, setting up a path to it’s success, and moving forward in CONSTANT pursuit?  How many people actually ignore social media and the lives of others in order to focus on their own life?  Unfortunately, in the age of information and social media, we are buried in a world of IRRELEVANT CONTENT.

The clouds grow thicker with the more posts shared online that it is easy to become distracted with someone else’s dream. You can be perceived to be progressing in your life via social media, but the question is, ARE YOU PROGRESSING OR REGRESSING?  If I am sitting still, how can I move forward? Progress is simply forward movement toward a goal. The only way to progress is to look inside YOUR mind for what it is you are trying to accomplish.  You can’t progress if you continuously make excuses for your delay.  Progress is a process that many people don’t have time for these days.

The fact is they do have time, they have plenty of time, they just choose to idolize someone else’s forward progression. I urge people to take a good hard look at what they want to stand for at the end of their journey.  Social media and the internet can either be a tool to aid us in our successes, or a diversion to our life’s plan.  Without the process of progress we will not accomplish anything. Instead, our minds will be used as a storage bank for the stories of others. Your progress can be simple, but if you are too distracted with the abstract world, the real world will pass you by.  THINK ABOUT IT!