A Smile to Remember, RIP Big Daddy

Posted on by serenitisparkles

Too often we never get the chance to say goodbye.

It all happened so fast. Like a lightning bolt that strikes down a beautiful palm. My best friend called me crying. Kenya got shot. Chills ran through my body and I remember feeling so helpless. I could hear her deep pain. And I understood why. Kenya aka Big Daddy was larger than life. He had a smile that made your heart melt. Kenya was like a teddy bear. He was there to help and never to harm. All I could remember thinking was WHO could be so evil.

My best friend told me he was on life support at a hospital about 20 mins away. She told me that the whole family was there. I dropped everything and went to be with them.

What would come next would stay with me forever.

When I got to the hospital I saw the family crowded by his bed side as my best friend walked out to tell me, he’s gone.

That day ended in pain and tragedy, but what it would bring was a sign of unity never seen before.

In order to tell this story properly, let me give you some background on my experience with my best friend, Kenya and the family that you won’t know if you are just reading this.

About 5 years before this tragic day, I moved to the south from New England. My white skin and love for Hip Hop music would make me an awkward fit at the time for this heavily separated town. When I first entered the high school lunch room it was obvious that most groups were separated by color or ethnicity rather than interests or life experiences.

I felt alone at the time because I related more to the black kids in the school because of Hip Hop culture, but I wasn’t necessarily accepted by them at first. Until I met my best friend, Kenya, and the family. They just truly saw ME. Me and my best friend became inseparable and Kenya’s smile became a reassurance that I was always good where ever I was in town. I was so blessed to have each and everyone of them in my life, especially Kenya. They were the definition of what family stood for. Always together, and I was always welcome.

I had come from a broken home and family that was separated by 1000 miles. My mother, whom I was living with at the time, was suffering from breast cancer, and I just remember feeling the embrace that I needed from all of them. It came right on time.

As the years passed on I saw Kenya grow up from a boy into a man. July 4th was the last day I got to spend with him. I remember there was a cookout at one of the family members houses and Kenya was the reason that July 4th was a hit for all of us. He brought hundreds of dollars worth of fireworks and began the show. We were outside for hours that day, basking in the beauty of the fireworks show that Kenya was putting on as he poured his energy into it. He was a bright light for all of us, and that day, he did his thing. Less than a month later, he was gone.

Hopelessness and sadness filled the family circle, but like always they stuck together. As the years would pass, his brother, sister and cousins would start an event for his birthday in his name. RIP Big Daddy. In the beginning, maybe a couple hundred would show up and celebrate and the police would always try to shut it down. Every year, more and more began to come. Like a fire igniting, it would continue to burn. Whether we realized it or not, Kenya’s energy lived far beyond his death.

This year, thousands would gather in the name of Big Daddy and Ending Gun Violence. The police that used to try and shut it down, would be forced to get behind the cause.

I don’t believe that our energy ever really leaves this earth and I believe that Kenya aka Big Daddy is proof of that.

I will always miss you, but your smile lives in my memory bank to remind me that life is worth smiling about. RIP Big Daddy.

The Conscious Mind…Ever Flowing

Posted on by serenitisparkles

We, as humans, have the most powerful force within all of us.  The conscious mind.  Many people across all continents are becoming more and more conscious of the world around us and our place in history.  Our bodies are bound by limitations, but our minds are only confined to what we allow.  Anything and everything is possible if we think it.

That doesn’t mean we can do anything, it means we can think greater than ever before.  With our bodies being forced to sit still, it gives our minds the opportunity to flow freely.

A free mind is a conscious one.  One that is not bound by the opinions or restrictions society has placed on us.  It is an ever flowing thought process, searching for the meaning of it all.

As we sit still, our minds have the ability to go deeper into the meaning of what it means to be human and what humans can do to benefit the universe.

Energy is all around us.  Energy is what makes us.  Positive thinking can influence an entire nation and uplift everyone it comes in contact with.

A positive mind that chooses to be conscious has the capacity to heal all wounds.  A positive, conscious mind has the power to shift the entire world into healing.

We are all in pain right now, together.  We are more connected than ever before.  It is imperative that we allow ourselves to influence one another.

My daughter asked me about burials when people die.  She said, “Mommy, isn’t that cruel, to bury a dead person under the ground.”

I replied, “Honey, you and I will not be buried.”  The you that makes you you will live on.  It is called our soul.  Our soul will leave the body.  The body is simply our shell.”

That explanation sparked a feeling of faith and belief in humanity.  If our energy is all knowing and forever powerful, than we need not fear any virus, war, or tragedy that this life on earth brings.  Our energy, if given the right thought, can be at peace knowing we will prevail.

We were all placed on this earth at this moment.  We were all placed here to witness the greatest threat to humanity.  This threat will only empower us to think deeper and let the light in.

Every moment that goes by adds more to our conscious mind.  All the pain we feel adds courage.  Courage adds strength.  And strength, in our core, will allow us to become the most powerful and conscious minds this earth has yet to witness.

Stay strong, my friends.  We are rooting for each other.  I have faith in all of us.  I have faith that the peace we have been searching for is right on the other side of tragedy.  So when we speak to someone we love, our energy exudes influence.  This world may have been tarnished by the unconscious.  It may have been overcome with negativity.

It is time for the conscious mind to take back the power and influence and bring about love.  The greatest energy of all.

Break Away From The Clouds, Find HUMILITY.

Posted on by serenitisparkles

Believe that you can be happy for this moment in time.  Believe that you were meant to live in the light.

I write these words, because there was once a time where the words were the only clue of what it felt like to live in the light.  These words that I give often are the same words that saved me from a grim future.  These words, my words, saved my life.

These are how the words would speak to me, even when I was blinded by gloom.

Believe that you can be happy for a moment in time, stop living with the burden that something tragic is about to present itself.

The burden becomes the chains that wear you.  They inhibit true bliss.  They live in the unexpected, because the chains are uncertain.  They live because of the tragic moments you’ve experienced and fear to relive.  You lie awake at night and your mind races.  The chains cover you.  Each day brings new sunlight and new opportunity, but you don’t seek it.  At times you can’t even see the light ahead.

Then one day you face the fear and remove the burden.  You recognize that without each tragedy, the happy moments and miracles that come to you wouldn’t have been possible.  That you have become even more authentic because of the pain.  You realize that you walked through abuse, death, illness, loneliness and found the light again.

The glimpse of light came from the voice within you.  You learned to wear those tragic experiences like a badge.  At one point you felt the world had failed you, that you had failed you, but instead of ending it all, you chose to keep searching for the light.

You realized that through your entire life, subconsciously, you had been filling a bottle of happy experiences and excited feelings.  When in you darkest moments, the bottle would show you the light.

Humility is that bottle.  Humility is what reminds us all that no matter how tragic or terrible our existence is, if we are granted another day, then we have everything we need to HEAL.